My relationship with my main bank account, Lloyds, is probably like most marriages – more than 10 years long, now a bit stale, and neither of us are really putting in the effort anymore.
The freebies and better interest rates of my student days are now just a distant memory. Recently, I decided it was time to fall back in love with my bank.
Slick, with sexed up features, and app-only, the new wave of digital banks seemed like a perfect choice. I downloaded two: Monzo and Bó, RBS' attempt to jump aboard the gravy train of app-based banking.
Monzo, which all of my friends are raving about, seemed to be the flavour of the month. But, I thought, if I can enjoy all the benefits of a modern bank while sticking within the safety net of a massive institution – one that has been managing people’s money for almost 300 years – isn’t that the ideal solution?
Apparently not.
In less than 10 minutes I’m signed up to Monzo and my hot coral card is in the post. I move to Bó and things start to get complicated.
“Stick your tongue out and close your eyes”, I’m told by the app as it takes a number of pictures of me to verify my identity. I sit, eyes closed, tongue lolling, like a lemon for an embarrassing amount of time – with no idea if the photo has been taken and I can now move.
I’m starting to miss my Lloyds bank account. I thought digital banks were supposed to make things easier?
There is a serious side to Bó – but not the kind you'd want. Recently RBS contacted thousands of Bó customers, telling them to shred their cards. More than 6,000 of us have been reissued cards as the bank rushes to comply with new EU rules on payments – rules that are designed to better protect customers against fraud.
So now many of us will have two Bó cards sloshing about until the original one stops working on March 14. Confused yet? I certainly am.
Even when you work out which one you should be using, things aren’t much simpler. Bó only allows you to add money via bank transfer – so you could never really use it as your main account. That also means you can’t pay your salary into it or use it for direct debits, like paying my rent. It’s basically a shiny but slightly useless cyber piggy bank.
Let’s be fair, Bó is not completely devoid of useful features: it tracks your spending, allows you to categorise payments so you realise where you’re wasting most money, and helps you to create a budget and set money aside to meet goals.
But these are all features already offered by Monzo, and the latter’s just seem to work with a lot less friction. Maybe RBS’s 300-year-history actually works against it when it comes to making a modern bank.
It has tried to “get down with the kids”, but just like when my Mum tries to do the same, it just feels a bit forced. Sorry RBS, but you’re not the one for me. My love affair with app-based banking, on the other hand, is just beginning.