Illustration by Sameer Kulkarni
But what about the bush? Down there. The part of the anatomy that’s hidden from sight. Have you ever looked there? What about it? One fine day I found a greying whisker jutting out like a rotten tomatoes trophy. I freaked out then and am freaking out now! What are you supposed to do? Leave it there because you can’t see it and try to annihilate its existence? What if your partner spots that silver mutiny?
I made peace after an uneasy and tumultuous ten years with greying locks on my head. But no one told me that it will stage a coup on all the hair follicles in my body! Like many girls who are never informed about puberty till it happens, no one informs about the loss of eggs before they declare you menopausal.
Grey hair on head? Cover it with whatever is worth it. Soon enough we will have feminine hygiene companies coming up with dyes for pubes. You can dye for what it’s worth. Never mind the UTI or cancer side effects, it is the low melanin that counts.
I have a lot of questions about my greying bush. Is it a sign of low/high libido or symptoms of menopause? If so, how many prime years do I have left before my egg reserve hits ovarian rock bottom? Will a coconut oil massage help? Should I use a medicated shampoo? Will the density of pubic hair reduce as it did on my crown? What do menfolk do about it? Will organic cotton panties help or is commando the way to go? Did it start because of my menstrual cup or because I like to trim instead of wax? Was brazil wax invented to maintain the allure of eternal youth?
Buried deep inside the google search pages lie answers shared by bots who will never deal with this. They will lead you to a rabbit hole of jade egg therapy, dire predictions like your man will leave you and finally leading you to a death countdown.
So whom should I ask my questions then? Dermatologists, Gwyneth Paltrow, Gynec Paltrow or menopause experts?
To grey or not to grey remains the question.
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👨🏻🎨 Illustration - Sameer Kulkarni