a list of all the Greywaren scenes that basically gut-punched, shattered my heart, and touched my soul and broke me and healed me:

  1. When Adam takes off the watch

  2. When Adam breaks down

  3. Declan going John Wick on the enemies (so hot)

  4. Matthew and the Fenian

  5. Declan seeing Nial’s memories

  6. The scene/memory where babay Declan saves Ronan

  7. Ronan and Adam on the astral plane

  8. Ronan trapped by the Lace

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I feel like this line, in the second paragraph, just sums up my strongest feelings for Ronan’s character perfectly. Like among all the many, many feelings this series gave me, the overwhelming feeling of empathy with Ronan was the most potent.

I thought it was so unfair for him to be the truly lonesome one, with no seeming future ahead of him except for waiting for the others in the Barns. He is not idle, he chose this for himself, he was not in a position to leave his family home after being deprived of it for so long- and yet he didn't expect it to freeze him in time, essentially. Leave him behind stagnant while everybody else chases something he literally does not have the privilege of- because he knows that it is dangerous for him, hazardous for others. Has known all these years that he is a weapon.

I felt true resentment over Adam leaving him because hell, your boyfriend, however prickly and snarly he may appear, needs people. This was essentially his entire support system uprooted.

And apart from that, this strange, wild power that Ronan possesses, has chained him in more ways than one. It is his way of creating beautiful things, but also facing horrors and never having the choice to turn them on or off. It's unpredictable. It leaves him with very little mobility because he can’t .

Maybe this is just my way of over-sympathizing with him.. but I feel like he had enough background nudges to go off the rails. I don't even care that he really almost brought doomsday to our world. He deserves some apologies and hugs.

The most epic way saga that began with magical forests and ended with doomsday, Greywaren rendered me non-functional for a whole week