Recovered Correspondence of Lieutenant Xaden Riorson to Cadet Violet Sorrengail
Garrick has always been my best friend. His father was my father's aide, which in a way makes him my Dain, except trust-worthy. After Liam, Bodhi was and still is the closest thing I have to a brother, perpetually tagging along a step behind.
Sgaeyl watched me kill another cadet for bullying Garrick during Threshing. She says she chose me for my ruthlessness, but I think I just reminded her of my grandfather.
My dad hoped I'd go into the infantry like he did. He thought riders were pompous pricks, and in his defense...we really are.
In the years after my father died, I forgot what it felt like to be loved. Then I entered the quadrant and became the monster everyone needed me to be, and I never regretted it. But then you gave those words to me, and I remembered... and nearly lost you, too. I'm striving to be better for you just like I promised, but I need you to know that monster is still there, screaming to use every ruthless part of me to get your words back.
My last words with my father before the Battle of Aretia were spoken in anger, because he was sending me away for my own safety. I'm not sure I'll ever forgive myself for that, but I like to think he forgives me.