I used to think I lost control.

That my body betrayed me.

That the sugar cravings, the fatigue, the extra weight

were proof I’d fallen off track.

So I took the pills.

“This one will make you happy.”

“Oh, you can’t sleep? Here’s another.”

“No libido? No problem take two more.”

But the truth is:

My body never betrayed me.

She adapted.

She screamed when I silenced her.

She held tension when I refused to let go.

She took what she could get

sugar, sleep, stillness, numbness

when my soul was starving.

She wasn’t malfunctioning.

She was surviving.

And now she’s asking for strength.