This may or may not be news – but the most healing thing we can do when someone expresses a challenge is to simply BE with them – to love them IN the challenge – and to trust that they have everything they need within them to face and work through their challenge.
If you really struggle with hearing someone’s pains, hurts and challenges, and you often want to give solutions, or try to lessen or lighten that experience for them – I give to you two magic words.
Early in my relationship with Eric when I would share my challenges or hurts and he would so lovingly try to tell me all the practical things I should do to fix or prevent my challenge.
And while there WAS so much loving and genuine support for me in his words, I rejected them and didn’t feel heard and understood.I just wanted him to be with me.I just wanted him to hear me.
And so I taught him these two magic words, and life has never been the same since.
It’s not important that I got these two magic words from watching an episode of Parks and Recreation.What’s important is that they work.
Try it next time you’re supporting someone that’s really going through it. And be amazed at how powerful the two magic words: ‘That sucks” has on really allowing your loved one to feel and experience that you’re with them, and in loving compassion for them.
I suggest also using these 3 Keys for Sharing Our Dreams and Challenges for Healing and Growth
The Listener’s First Job is to Love
The Sharer Has Their Own Answers and Clarity
That’s It: Love and Trust