By Moubani Maity
Behind every great “Speaker” is a great “Listener.”
When I joined Toastmasters International, I could only think of the great speeches, spontaneous table topic answers, grand gestures, confident body language and loud applause. It was my dream to achieve all of it.
Three months into Toastmasters, I realised that real magic was in active listening. Rather, the real journey in Toastmasters begins with listening.
I wanted to be the best speaker in my room. I prepared my ice-breaker speech with all the fire I had in me. Honestly, I did not pay attention to the other speakers, because I was busy concentrating on my speech. When it was my turn, I delivered with confidence and gave a good speech.
Then came my evaluator.
“TM Moubani! As your first speech, you were great, but your speech did not feel heard to me.” That's what he said.
I will be honest, I got offended even though I didn't express it then. I mean, what am I supposed to do with listening? Isn't it about speaking?
At the next meeting, I joined in again with the thought of being the best in the room. But that's when a speaker stunned me with her performance. I could immediately connect the dots to what my evaluator told me the day before.
The way the speakers hold the audience's attention is not just by speaking. They listen to the silence of the room, the laughter, the mood and most importantly, they listen to the evaluation without being defensive.
Now, I started observing the speakers and listening to their pauses and vocal variety. My takeaway was understanding that listening is never passive. Listening is active, listening is intentional. I soon realised that evaluation is the bread and butter of a good speaker. I started listening to the recommendations and used them as a tool for my next speeches.
Listening skills can help you lead the room, communicate better, and bring empathy to your speech. Listening is the master skill of speaking.
In my next prepared speech, I wasn't revisiting my script when others were speaking. Instead, I absorbed the vibe of the room, connected with the other speakers, laughed when they were humorous, and felt emotional when the speech was melancholic.
Now it was my turn!
I went on the stage and ensured that I maintained eye contact. I looked at every audience as if I were speaking to them personally. I tried my best to touch their hearts with my speech. I gave my all, but with observation and not just by memorisation. This time, I made sure that my speech was “heard”.
At the end of the meeting, one of the Toastmasters came up to me and said, “I could feel your speech.” And this was a “win” for me.