Woody Allen
is a collection of fifty-two pieces of hilarious writing which firmly establish the author in the tradition of Groucho Marx and James Thurber. Woody Allen's prose displays his versatility and virtuosity with the written word, and his special brand of humour.
Getting Even is a collection of 17 of Allen's magazine pieces from the late 1960s discussing such bizarre topics as the invention of the sandwich, laundry lists, death, obesity, and, of course, rabbis.
Without Feathers delivers more of Allen's New Yorker-style humor. Worthy stand-outs include "If the Impressionists Had Been Dentists," a genius piece that puts oral surgery in a whole new, much more exciting, light.
Finally, Side Effects compiles Allen's best New Yorker essays from the late 1970s. Although not as outrageously funny as his previous books, this is still a classic piece of comedy. --Naomi Gesinger
To be a really good lover, then, one must be strong and yet tender. How strong? I suppose being able to lift fifty pounds should do it. Bear in mind also that to the lover the loved one is always the most beautiful thing imaginable, even though to a stranger she may be indistinguishable from an order of smelts. Beauty is in the eye of the be-holder. Should the beholder have poor eyesight, he can ask the nearest person which girls look good. (Actually, the prettiest ones are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.) "The joys of love are but a moment long," sang the troubadour, "but the pain of love endures forever." This was almost a hit song, but the melody was too close to "I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy."
Dear Theo, Yes, it's true. The ear on sale at Fleishman Brothers Novelty Shop is mine. I guess it was a foolish thing to do but I wanted to send Claire a birthday present last Sunday and every place was closed. Oh, well. Sometimes I wish I had listened to father and become a painter. It's not exciting but the life is regular.
Not wanting to protract an already disoriented business (I know your recent illness has left your usually hardy constitution somewhat fragmented and disorganized, causing a mild breach with the real world as we know it), I must take this opportunity to undo our sordid tangle of circumstances before it progresses irrevocably to a Kafkaesque conclusion. Had I realized you were not gentleman enough to allow me an equalizing second move, I would not, on my forty-sixth move, have permitted my pawn to capture your bishop. According to your own diagram, in fact, these two pieces were so placed as to render that impossible, bound as we are to rules established by the World Chess Federation and not the New York State Boxing Commission. Without doubting that your intent was constructive in removing my queen, I interject that only disaster can ensue when you arrogate to yourself this arbitrary power of decision and begin to play dictator, masking tactical blunders with duplicity and aggression- a habit you decried in our world leaders several months ago in your paper on "De Sade and Non-Violence."