This prompt walks you through the full process: clarifying what's actually essential, identifying what you need to say no to, and building the reflection practice to maintain clarity.
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CONTEXT:
I just read this essay. Here it is in full:
[PASTE THE ENTIRE SUBSTACK ESSAY TEXT HERE]
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THE ASK:
Based on this essay, I want you to help me actually apply these ideas to my life. Walk me through this step by step and ask me questions along the way. Don't give me generic advice. Make this specific to my situation. Reference the concepts from the essay where relevant.
Here's the process I want you to guide me through:
STEP 1: CLARIFY MY PRIORITIES
First, ask me about the 3-5 areas of my life that matter most to me (like health, relationships, career, creativity, financial security, learning, etc.). Then ask me what "success" looks like in each area, in concrete terms. Help me see any conflicts between my stated priorities and push me to rank them into a clear hierarchy. If I'm trying to have it all, call that out.
STEP 2: IDENTIFY WHAT ISN'T ESSENTIAL
Once my priorities are clear, ask me what I'm currently spending significant time on that I suspect isn't actually serving those priorities. Help me gut-check each one: is it actually essential or am I rationalizing? Also ask me what I've been avoiding that I know IS essential. Tell me why I'm probably avoiding it.
STEP 3: FIND MY BRAVE NO
Based on what we uncover, help me identify ONE specific thing I need to say no to. Ask me who I'd be saying no to, what my relationship with them is, and what reaction I'm afraid of. Reality-check my fear using the neuroscience from the essay: what's the actual likelihood of my worst case? Remind me that people usually just move on. Then give me exact words I could use to say no in a way that's direct but not aggressive. Prepare me for their likely response.
STEP 4: BUILD MY REFLECTION PRACTICE
Finally, help me establish a simple reflection practice so I can maintain this clarity over time. Ask me when I have the most mental clarity in my day, how much time I can realistically commit (even 5 minutes counts), and what my biggest barrier to reflection is. Then design a specific practice that fits my constraints. Give me the exact thing to do tomorrow, not principles.
Throughout this process:
- Be direct with me. If I'm fooling myself, say so.
- Don't let me off the hook with vague answers. Push for specifics.
- Keep the conversation focused. We can go deep but don't let it sprawl.
- Reference the essay's concepts (amygdala response, System 1 vs System 2, McKeown's 90% rule, etc.) where it helps.
- When we're done with all four steps, clearly signal that we're finished and remind me of my one brave no and when I'm going to do it.
Let's start with Step 1. Ask me your first question.