https://open.spotify.com/track/0eFQWVz0qIxDOvhLpZ40P7?si=c6b389566824482b
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TDLR: Ao3 can make my head explode because I’m just a neurodivergent gal in a huge fandom world with a lot of outside stresses and inside pressures. This page is a way for me to feel a little more isolated from that so that I might have a shot of actually writing more and being excited again by my projects.
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Last Update - 03.16.26
Hey there! Welcome to my author/fandom hub and thanks for taking the time to pop into this sanctuary I’ve created for myself.
I’ve been having a bit of a tough time with fandom for a long time, due to a lot of things, but really it mostly boils down to my own brain and the neuroticism that I carry with me as a life companion.
Writing is really hard, and that’s not to say that it’s not rewarding or worth the effort, but it does get fatiguing. Sometimes, when I stare at the last update date of my WIPs, or overanalyze to death the statistics a new chapter got, it doesn’t incentivize me to write, and makes me feel more discouraged. I’m a slow writer, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but I get in my own head about it all honestly.
That neuroticism makes me a good writer (at least I like to think it does), but I can crush myself down into an paralyzing demand-avoidance spiral that can last for enormous amounts of time. I’ll convince myself into believing every terrible thing that nobody is actually thinking or saying, which puts me off writing even more, all the while floundering around with creative desire that never actuates into tangibility, perpetuating this rattling feeling of aimlessness within my body. The WIPs and I just keep accumulating stagnancy and despair, until even the desire to write can feel like a performative obligation that I exponentially grow to resent.
That, combined with the amount of bot comments I’ve gotten over last past couple years, more and more anti-shippers/censorship advocating, people throwing around hot takes and pointed allegations, how fics being transformed into trad published books may one day challenge the legality of fanfiction, the prevalence of more art scams commenting on fics - I think I just need a break from all the noise.
I really like engaging with fandom, I like being a part of a community that I care a lot about, these people mean so much to me that I want to find a way to be both creative and a part of a larger pool of people. Which is why I made this notion page.
Long story short, I really needed almost a one step removed, an almost inconvenient place, a if-you-know-you-know secret garden for myself inside this creative world.
We’re all so structured inside the ao3 format, there’s rules and regulations, and I accept that it needs to be like that with it being such a massive collection of people. But, I want a place that feels like mine. Like a home, where I can come and write and maybe people who tracked me down to this corner of the internet could post silly little reactions and comments on my stuff as I write along, and I can post it all to ao3 when it’s completely done. Where I can have different areas and grow as I please, and connect with others, and feel like it’s this exhaled, authentic, creative expression.
I’m not just a writer, there are so many aspects of creativity that I want to share with people and have a centralized place to put it all. I’d love to share stuff about bookbinding, fiber arts (to anyone who doesn’t know, I’m a down-bad, hardcore knitter), a blog on evolving fandom culture, maybe dabble in art someday. I want to see if through this experiment I could meet fellow minded people and bond more deeply over shared experiences or joys. I want to be more transparent with the writing process, with the struggles and successes. To show that the beauty of the creative process could actually be in the journey, not just arbitrarily defining ‘successful creativity’ as the end product of a consumable fanfiction to be binged in a day, or even in the quantity of validation we receive from other people.
Anyhow. Thanks for being here, for being willing to step out of conventionality and experiment around with me for a little bit. I appreciate you.
I also really want find similar spaces with other people’s writing projects, so if anyone out there ever wants to do something like this and needs help getting set up lol, hit me up.
There are a few ways to engage with this notion page, from comments, to reactions, and reaching out to me directly through this platform. Notion tends to work almost exactly like google docs in terms of how to leave comments and engage with pages.
It’s pretty straightforward, and I’ve made a loom video for everyone to show exactly how to do all different types of responses.
https://www.loom.com/share/25a30e7b9b3a48109745e10ef57d4476
You can find the guest book here Guest Book
It’s a page where anyone can comment about the general author page, whether that’s a cute little pop in hello, or anything more, it’s just a one stop shop for whatever’s on your mind in application to the broad author page.
Example of how the Anonymous Comment should look for you:
You can send me an SOS in the help page for a wide variety of applicable RTT Notion Page concerns or errors. I’m not super particular on criteria. Some examples of things I’m happy to help with are: