A successful mentoring relationship often comes down to the ground rules that you set right at the start.

It's essential to clarify boundaries and limits you'd like to establish in your mentoring relationship. These aren't restrictive barriers that limit your relationship—they're a way for you to tell your mentor exactly how you'd like to work, and what is comfortable for you.

Setting boundaries doesn't need to be awkward. In fact, it can be a natural, straightforward conversation. You have every right to clarify your expectations, and this guide will provide you with the tools and confidence to establish healthy boundaries effectively.

When you set the right tone from the start, you create the perfect environment for a truly transformative mentoring experience.

Part 1: Set Basic Ground Rules Early

Your mentoring relationship needs ground rules before you talk about career goals or industry insights. Without this you’re building on shaky ground.

The most successful mentoring pairs make specific decisions together during their first or second meeting.

Essential Logistics to Decide Together

Meeting frequency and scheduling: How often will you meet? Every two weeks? Monthly? Every six weeks? Who takes responsibility for scheduling sessions? What happens when one of you needs to reschedule? Establish a clear protocol that prevents the slow drift towards sporadic contact.

Session structure and documentation: Will you use prepared agendas for each meeting? Who creates them? How will you document key insights, action items and progress? Will you share notes after each session or keep individual records?

Communication between sessions: What’s the preferred method for quick questions or updates? Email? Text? Professional messaging platforms? How quickly should you expect responses and what constitutes an urgent versus routine communication?

Behavioural Ground Rules That Prevent Drift

Beyond logistics you need explicit agreements about how you’ll show up for each other:

• No multitasking during meetings: Phones down, laptops closed unless specifically needed for the conversation. Full presence and attention.
• Open and honest communication: Commitment to share real challenges, setbacks and concerns rather than presenting a polished facade.
• Prepared participation: Both parties come with specific topics, questions or updates rather than hoping inspiration strikes during the conversation.
• Time boundaries: Start and end on time. If discussions need more time, schedule a follow-up rather than extending indefinitely.
• Closure reflection commitment: Agreement to have a formal evaluation session at the end of the mentoring period to review what worked and what could improve.

These rules help prevent problems like unclear expectations that cause frustration and ghosting (where someone slowly stops responding). They create a framework for real professional growth.