© 2021 Gena Gorlin, Ph.D.

Read and subscribe to my Substack newsletter, Building the Builders, for a steady stream of content tailored to the psychological needs of ambitious innovators.

About this exercise: This is a set of optional prompts you can use to 1) coach yourself effectively through difficult situations or emotions, and 2) generally practice taking ownership of your own thinking and decision-making. It may be used in lieu of or in conjunction with this self-coaching spreadsheet, if helpful.

Note: This worksheet is very much in “beta” mode, and I am eager for any and all feedback you’d be willing to share about your experience with it ****(ranging from specific suggestions / criticisms, to actual examples of how you’ve filled it out and/or what you’ve learned from it). Please email me at [email protected] with any feedback.

How to use: Copy this worksheet to your own personal workspace using the "duplicate" option at the top right of this page. Click in the blank spaces to start typing. If you'd like more information on a given prompt, use the toggle for more in-depth explanations and examples.


Answer the following questions with regard to any current situation, decision, or emotional state through which you could use some self-coaching.

Pt. 1: Observe & Describe

Like any good coach, you need to listen to your "players" and understand what they think, feel, and need before you start to offer feedback or guidance. The questions below are meant to help you do this with your own inner "players," as represented by the various emotions you may be feeling. Think of this as "reflective listening" applied to yourself.

  1. What happened or is happening in this situation? (Just the facts)

  2. What emotions do you notice? How can you tell?

  3. For each distinct emotion (i.e., "inner player"), see if you can identify the following: