Once, I lost track of compassion and unloaded a really harsh critique on my friend. I ended up feeling embarrassed and a bit disgusted with myself afterwards. But what does being compassionate mean for me? My first formulation might be something like this…
So I need to ask myself about what I need to notice and foreground to in order to live by this personal value. What aspects of the situation could guide my awareness in a way that is inherently worthwhile for me?
What I need to notice and foreground: That we're both human beings, and that I make mistakes all the time, and that I often don't handle things the way I would have wanted to
With this information, I can rewrite the Personal Value phrase to be awareness-guiding:
Approach other people's faults in a way that is deeply mindful of my own imperfections, and how I often fail to meet my own standards or even make good sense.
With this formulation, I can call to mind specific aspects of the situation (my own faults and shortcomings) that will help guide my awareness away from judging my friend too harshly and toward how I would feel good about relating, i.e., with this specific form of compassion.
Now I can add the source of meaning for me.
Approach other people's faults in a way that is deeply mindful of my own imperfections, and how I often fail to meet my own standards or even make good sense, interacting with a deep sense of 'we're in this together'.
And I'll finish it off with a nice name: All Faulty Critique
Check out an example that begins with context:
Rewriting a Value: Example #3