Jan. 11th, 2021
Sitting at my desk with my screen and keyboard
Dozens of thoughts flit through my head
But none of them are good enough
I force myself to pick one
And type the title
But the blank screen keeps staring at me
I type the first sentence
Then immediately delete it
It’s too simple
Too complex
Too vague
Too specific
It’s much easier
To do something else
And I still have hours
So I stop writing
A few moments later
It’s 10 o’clock
Crickets are chirping outside
I check Google Classroom
And it’s due at 12
And not 8 AM tomorrow
I go back to the document
Back to the blank screen
And force myself to start typing
I forego all quality control
All grammar-checking
All fact-checking
I panic at every internet lag
Every computer lag
Every minute is precious
At the back of my head
I wish I had thought this way
A few hours ago
At 11:50
I turn the paper in
And go to bed
I regret not writing anything earlier
I promise myself to stop procrastinating
But I suffer no repercussions
So I don’t