Adversaries into Allies: Master the Art of Influence Bob Burg
Faced with the task of persuading someone to do what we want, most of us expect resistance. We see the other person as an adversary and often resort to coercion or manipulation to get our way. But while this approach might bring us short-term results, it leaves people with a bad feeling about themselves and about us. At that point, our relationship is weakened and our influence dramatically decreased. There has to be a better way.
Drawing on his own experiences and the stories of other influential people, communication expert Bob Burg offers five simple principles of what he calls Ultimate Influence—the ability to win people to your side in a way that leaves everyone feeling great about the outcome. In the tradition of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People, Burg offers a tried-and-true framework for building alliances at work, at home, and anywhere else you seek to win people over.
Blindspot: Hidden Biases of Good People *Mahzarin R. R. Banaji, Anthony G. Greenwald*
I know my own mind. I am able to assess others in a fair and accurate way.
These self-perceptions are challenged by leading psychologists Mahzarin R. Banaji and Anthony G. Greenwald as they explore the hidden biases we all carry from a lifetime of exposure to cultural attitudes about age, gender, race, ethnicity, religion, social class, sexuality, disability status, and nationality.
“Blindspot” is the authors’ metaphor for the portion of the mind that houses hidden biases. Writing with simplicity and verve, Banaji and Greenwald question the extent to which our perceptions of social groups—without our awareness or conscious control—shape our likes and dislikes and our judgments about people’s character, abilities, and potential.
In Blindspot, the authors reveal hidden biases based on their experience with the Implicit Association Test, a method that has revolutionized the way scientists learn about the human mind and that gives us a glimpse into what lies within the metaphoric blindspot.
The title’s “good people” are those of us who strive to align our behavior with our intentions. The aim of Blindspot is to explain the science in plain enough language to help well-intentioned people achieve that alignment. By gaining awareness, we can adapt beliefs and behavior and “outsmart the machine” in our heads so we can be fairer to those around us. Venturing into this book is an invitation to understand our own minds.
Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds Wendy Sullivan, Judy Rees
What Is Clean Language? Clean Language was first developed in the 1980s and 90s by psychotherapist David Grove as he sought to find respectful and effective ways to work with trauma victims.
Now, authors Sullivan and Rees and take this revolutionary way of communicating completely out of the closet, introducing the concepts to the broad range of helping professional (from psychotherapist to organizational coach) as well as interested laypeople. Clean Language allows access to the deepest levels of people's communications so that the real issues are revealed early and real helping strategies can be created to meet them.
When the client is invited to find the solution, then time isn't wasted in the vain attempts to convince, cajole, or coerce. The basic perspective is straightforward. You should keep your opinions and advice to yourself. You should Listen attentively and ask clean questions to explore metaphors. You should listen to the answers and then ask more Clean questions about they've said.
There are just a dozen key Clean questions, and when combined with the words offered by the person being questioned, they become part of a flexible, multipurpose toolkit. The possibility of positive change is just a natural part of the process nobody forcing it, nobody being forced. It s as natural as using clean language.
**Conflicted: How Productive Disagreements Lead to Better Outcomes** Ian Leslie
Drawing on advice from the world’s leading experts on conflict and communication—from relationship scientists to hostage negotiators to diplomats—Ian Leslie, a columnist for the New Statesman, shows us how to transform the heat of conflict, disagreement and argument into the light of insight, creativity and connection, in a book with vital lessons for the home, workplace, and public arena.
In this much-need book, Ian Leslie explores what happens to us when we argue, why disagreement makes us stressed, and why we get angry. He explains why we urgently need to transform the way we think about conflict and how having better disagreements can make us more successful. By drawing together the lessons he learns from different experts, he proposes a series of clear principles that we can all use to make our most difficult dialogues more productive—and our increasingly acrimonious world a better place.
Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler
Learn how to keep your cool and get the results you want when emotions flare. When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, you have three choices: Avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences; handle the conversation badly and suffer the consequences, or read this book and discover how to communicate best when it matters most. Crucial Conversations gives you the tools you need to step up to life's most difficult and important conversations, say what's on your mind, and achieve the positive resolutions you want.
<aside> 💬 „A step-by-step manual on how (and when) to approach difficult conversations with people.” — Pat Kua, Former CTO of N26
Dealing with Difficult People Harvard Business Review
Learn how to deal with difficult colleagues and clients.
At the heart of dealing with difficult people is handling their--and your own--emotions. How do you stay calm in a tough conversation? How do you stay unruffled in the face of passive-aggressive comments? And how do you know if you're difficult to work with?
This book explains the research behind our emotional response to awful colleagues and shows how to build the empathy and resilience to make those relationships more productive.
This collection of articles includes:
Difficult Conversations: How To Discuss What Matters Most Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen
We attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day-whether dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client. Difficult Conversations provides a step-by-step approach to having those tough conversations with less stress and more success. You'll learn how to:
Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us Daniel H. Pink
Most people believe that the best way to motivate is with rewards like money—the carrot-and-stick approach. That's a mistake, says Dan Pink. In this provocative and persuasive book, he asserts that the secret to high performance and satisfaction-at work, at school, and at home—is the deeply human need to direct our own lives, to learn and create new things, and to do better by ourselves and our world.
<aside> 🥇 One of my personal favorites in the entire library. If you're reading only one book from this list, make it this one!
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves
By now, emotional intelligence (EQ) needs little introduction—it’s no secret that EQ is critical to your success. But knowing what EQ is and knowing how to use it to improve your life are two very different things.
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 delivers a step-by-step program for increasing your EQ via four, core EQ skills that enable you to achieve your fullest potential:
Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time Susan Scott
The master teacher of positive change through powerful communication, Susan Scott wants you to succeed. To do that, she explains, you must transform everyday conversations at work and at home with effective ways to get your message across—and get what you want. In this guide, which includes a workbook and The Seven Principles of Fierce Conversations, Scott teaches you how to: