MIT Police + MIT EMS: (avoid calling the Boston police!): (617) 253-1212

Boston Police (note: They're slow to respond and not the nicest towards fraternities): 911

Had Too Much to Drink?

Barf Bags, Oral Rehydration Salts, and Pulse Oximeters are available on the counter behind the bar.

Furries (i.e. Justin Yu) running around?

Call furry police (617-957-0655)