Shoulda done this at the start of the year but was way too invested given positive results of last year and sunken fallacy cost.
Last couple months I wanted one last ride to achieve my dream of rank 1 Korea only to fall short and peak top 10 as if I have already in the past.
On the topic of the disappointment so has my whole career I dreamed of being world champion and becoming the best jungler in the world and obviously the end results speak for themselves I’m still that mfer but probably only cause I wanted it more than others.
I was 900 elo aka bronze 4 starting out so I’m just that friend who would say play again every time I lost.
In the process of only caring about results since 10 years ago I sold my soul for it and got nothing to show for it, turning straight into a meme rn no car, house, gf, relationships, 27 yo.
Writing this shit is therapeutic but yea had anxiety about what’s next but I realized league isn’t my first love and won’t be my last.
Soccer was my first love and dream and it came shattering down due to blackletics seeing a 16 year old light skin looking 22 year old run twice as fast as me at state trials I realized it was genetics gap,then and there is where I found league to be a beautiful game where talent wasn’t important (shout out Yuki 5”8 Asian ninja in the NBA).
Shout out to everyone who I’ve met over the years that understood me and my mentality at the time in my life and sorry to those that mistook me for an asshole I just wanted the win while being an
ass hole.
In the end I wish I had someone who would have guided me along my journey as a player. People be lying don’t let anyone tell you there’s always next time or “your only x age it’s ok” nah you actually only get 1- 2 shots at opportunities and then it’s over things would have been different if I had a mentor/coach but this is reality.
Apart of me will likely die and its something ill have to accept I don’t know if I’ll ever in my life feel the passion, desire and ambition league has given me ever again. You can call me coachfire now ill be coaching in Sanspareil posting content on everything I know from the last 10 years to do with climbing until I figure out what I want to do in life.
Join my coaching program sanspareil if you want to climb faster.
