Framework To Ask Critical Questions
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💡 We rely on visual cues and interactions over extended periods of time to understand the people around us, so how can we learn to ask the right questions and vet the answers to explore the fundamentals within?
We combined Notion and Whimsical to create a meaningful framework to help you ask good questions to not only better understand the company you keep, but yourself as well.
Inspired by the Mom Test
Do I need this?
- You find yourself being inauthentic and don't know why;
- You realize what you say and what you do are very different;
- You don't want to spend gross amounts of time committing to friendships and relationships before realizing that they are not the right people to be around;
- You're looking to build meaningful friendships based on shared mindsets, and not shared interests, which can change;
- You often can't think of better things to say in a conversation than "how was your day";
- You often walk away from conversations feeling like you haven't learned anything new about who you're talking to;
This framework is for you.
- Everybody LIES - not maliciously, but people like to please
- We use mental heuristics (mental shortcuts) - that help us solve problems and make judgments quickly and efficiently - these are rule of thumb shortcuts that shorten decision making time and allow people to function without constantly stopping to think about their next course of action. COGNITIVE BIAS.
Static Variables (S.V)
They help us understand people. They help us align with other's behaviour - if they are interested in XXX or have attributes like XXX, they have a higher chance of thinking like I do!
- What are they interested in? Photography, movies, technology, tv shows
- Education level
- Race, religion, political affiliation
- Hometown (where they grew up)
- Age (generation)
- S.V. helps you find other people (places of congregation)
- S.V. changes often because of life experiences
- S.V causes expectations = unhappiness
Mental heuristics help us make faster decisions, but not necessarily better decisions.
People actually want to know this, but they don't ask the right questions. I believe that nobody actually would care about the S.V. if they had a reliable way to figure out the fundamental mindset underneath.
How Can We Avoid These Pitfalls?! How can you help yourself (and others) be the most authentic you can be.
People are not generally maliciously lying, but they want to please.
- Talk about their behaviours, instead of your ideals. (Priming)
- Ask about specifics in the past instead of generics or opinions about the future! (Opinions are cheap)
- Talk less and listen more. (Seek to understand before being understood)