A "Frame Up" is a lightweight, yet highly effective conversation framework to gain alignment, clarity & synchronicity with other people.

We adapted ours from the wonderful Kyle Savage, who created the framework to build intimacy with her long-distance partner Bob. Cultivating intimacy and closeness when you're worlds apart (Australia - USA in Kylie & Bob's case) can be a challenge. But, let's face it - relationships of any kind need attention, work and investment to flourish no matter the proximity.

We use the "frame-up" on a weekly basis (every Sunday in fact) in our relationship. However, that might not work for you, so you could use it for a specific event or period of time. We've found it works particularly well each time we head into a new context, (e.g. before a new bikepacking trip, prior to moving to a new country, from weekend to workweek et al). This helps us stay aligned, voice our expectations and remain grateful for one another.

How we do our Frame-Up:

1. We set aside about an hour each Sunday, and minimise the likelihood of interruptions.
2. We run through the questions below, asking all the questions in the list per person, then switch person and start again.

<aside> 🔐 NOTE: The key to a great frameup is to ask the question, and then hold space for the other person to explore and reflect on the question, before moving on.

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Kylie summaries holding space beautifully (so we use her definitions):

• Listen with the pure intention of hearing and understanding your partner’s perspective;
• Be truly present (no phone, interruptions, distractions);
• Listening without judgement, without making assumptions;