FOUR ALL WHO READ AND RIGHT:
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his, and him, but imagine the feminine as being she, shis, and shim.
PI Day Memes
English is crazy; it’s not your fault
Blair Armeau - Resume
Some other reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:
Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind! For example...If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why do writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but cannot make one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all! but one of them, what do you call it -- one odd and one end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can slim and fat chances be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
Where else would you park your car on a driveway and drive your car on a parkway?