Episode 41: How to Actually Be Confident

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Description:

Content note: When I talk about boundaries in this episode, I want to be clear that being violated is never caused by a lack of boundaries. Boundaries are about protecting ourselves — not preventing harm. Being touched or violated is never someone’s fault, regardless of how they respond in the moment. Also, this episode touches on sexuality and personal empowerment. Nothing explicit, but shared honestly and openly.

This week's insight episode shows you how to actually be confident in yourself. Not through being like others, but through strengthening your relationship with yourself.

🌙 In this episode, I share:

Additional Thoughts:

When making this episode, I had to ask myself: Who was I when I didn’t have this confidence, and what would she need to hear? I made this episode for the people who struggle to love, or even like themselves. Those who have spent so long never truly knowing who they are. Who felt like being themselves was wrong. Who were taught to embrace the qualities others like, and to abandon the ones they don’t.

I thought of the idea to make this episode because of a post I made on Instagram. A post I made when I felt truly empowered by who I am (selfies on my main Insta, I am wearing a green sweater). Those photos were taken during a moment of true self-connection.

In that moment, I was connected with all parts of me. The things I enjoyed when I was younger and still enjoy now. Embracing my natural features. Embodying my masculine side, without it taking away from my natural feminine side. Masculine expression, but feminine intuition. I got dressed and did my makeup based on what felt right in that moment. I let go of the need to express myself a certain way and just did what felt right. I let myself be playful with it. I was deeply connected with my sexuality. Not just who I am attracted to, but what I like. Because sexuality is so sacred.

That energy fueled this week’s episode. Not confidence that is loud (although, being loud with your confidence is TOTALLY OKAY!), but confidence that is self-strengthening. That has been built through years of self-understanding. This episode isn’t some magical fix. I don’t share tips on how to all of a sudden be confident. Because that kind of confidence almost never lasts. I share how deeply connecting with yourself forms a natural confidence that doesn’t have to feel performative. Going back to who you have always been, embracing the things you can’t change about yourself. The most confident person in the room is the one being exactly who they have always been.

How to actually be confident (these tips have more explanation in the episode):

  1. Focus on YOU, not others
    1. How your brain works
    2. Your style
    3. Your self-expression
    4. Your sexuality
  2. Follow accounts on social media that make you feel good about yourself
  3. Learn about your strengths and weaknesses