Inerrancy of bible falsifiable
One wrong belief weakens confidence (i couldn't show i was rignt, pretend i wasn't xian)
Feeling convicted was social shame
Born in Papua New Guinea, my life began steeped in Christianity. My parents were missionaries there, teaching at a tribal school. They returned to the USA one year after my birth.
We moved to Florida in order to attend a Baptist church my parents liked and had received financial support from while missionaries. I was "saved" when I was 4 years old. (This means placing my trust in Jesus to save me from sin.) I was homeschooled through junior high.* Then I went to the Christian school at our church. My parents became teachers there, too.
Through all this time we were active in the church. My mom sang in the choir. My dad controlled the microphones and speaker volume from the sound booth. We attended services every Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night.
Since kindergarten, I was part of a church children's and youth club called AWANA that met Wednesday nights. Members would memorize and recite Bible verses, play games, and listen to Bible lessons. I earned the highest AWANA award for completing 10 years' worth of club curriculum (3rd-12th grade). That meant over 600 verses memorized!
During high school and college, I assisted in various church ministries:
In college, I became interested in anime and Japanese culture. I dreamed of visiting Japan. An opportunity arrived when a missionary from Japan came to speak at my church. I learned he could use help with construction and children's summer camps. My church provided support for this mission trip, and I went to Japan! Through this amazing 5-week experience, I knew I wanted to live in Japan. I also became "burdened" for Japanese people. (This means feeling moved with compassion and a moral responsibility to reach unbelievers with the good news of Christ.)
Soon after, I transferred to a university that had Japanese language classes, and made friends with Japanese international students. I invited some of them to church services and tried evangelizing them. (This means trying to convert them to Christianity by sharing the gospel message). But they were not persuaded to put their faith in Jesus. I wondered what would convince them. I didn't want my Japanese friends to go to hell.
I asked myself, "If I was born to any other family, what would it take for me to come to my currently-held Christian beliefs?" I realized how influential geography and culture is in determining what someone believes. Muslims who grew up in the Middle East are just as convinced about Islam as I felt about Christianity.
How many of my beliefs were held for good reasons rather than simply accepted to fit in with my surrounding community? What made my reasons for believing better than others with different religious and doctrinal views? Among all the religions in the world and the conflicting subsets within each of these religions, what are the chances I was raised in the correct one?
These were the questions I grappled with as I decided to take responsibility for my faith. I needed to prove to myself why my beliefs were correct, so that I could share them with others confidently and effectively.