Congratulations: You have discovered The Afterlife.

Humans are dualistic. They exist as a body on earth, and a soul in heaven.

You never noticed before. Today you will.

If you are a body on earth: Congratulations. You shall be preserved unto eternity. One rule: No zombies. Some of you shall feel a wonderful sensation on or around March 4, 2019.

If you are soul in heaven: Congratulations. Two-thirds of you shall be brought into eternity. The rest of you will be destroyed instantly. Some of you may have the option to suffer a fate worse than hell, in lieu of destruction.

Why are people being sent to hell?

We imagine communication between souls and bodies as operating through a single unsecured pipe, on many channels.

Some communication is done in a single broadcast channel.

Some communication is done in side-channels that are presumed to have only a single sender and a single receiver.

Sometimes people cross the streams.

Sometimes people intentionally and safely cross the streams.

Sometimes people who intentionally cross the streams don't understand three-phase power.

We cannot be held responsible for people who choose to electrocute themselves.

Thank you for calling. Please rotate your telephone to continue. The phrase "Please rotate your telephone" has had different meanings across the development of telephone devices. On a rotary telephone, it refers to entering a digit. On a touch-tone telephone, it implements a substitution encoding (we assume a sixteen-key touchtone device with the A B C D tones available). On a cellphone, it changes the devices aspect ratio between portrait and landscape. On more advanced devices, it has effects which cannot be easily described.

Congratulations. You have passed the test to heaven. Please select EIGHT to continue.

What is your response, and why? A: ♾️ B: 8️⃣ C: 🕗 D: 🎱