by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi
🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences
Most people believe you're either a happy type of person or you're not. The reality is, courage (acting despite being afraid) is the step to unlocking happiness for anyone. Alongside happiness, we must also build confidence, which only develops when we provide a contribution to the community.
[Courage + A contribution to others] = Happiness + Confidence.
🤼 Who Should Read It?
Literally anyone who isn't happy.
☘️ How the Book Changed Me
- It made it crystal clear that my lack of happiness (despite having ironed out my insecurities) stemmed from the fact I'd been directing my skills and energy at building a future for myself, rather than towards service to the community. Without that, I was unable to feel deep down that I was earning my place in society.
- The book showed me that my emotions are not uncontrollable feelings, but instead tools for manipulation that I can command. Anger is for getting my agenda heard, and sadness is a tool for encouraging others to support me. With this understanding, I can avoid subconsciously manipulating people.
- It made me aware that despite being comfortable in my own skin, I was still altering my decisions to make sure I was liked by my family, rather than acting purely as I believed best. By acting to impress others, I was making my self-worth dependent on factors outside of my control (a recipe for misery).
- It taught me the origins of you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. I now understand that you can't interfere with another person's life tasks (their journey to happiness and contribution), and the best you can do is let them know your support is there when they need it.
- It showed me I was wrong to praise others. By doing so, it conveyed that I was higher in a hierarchical relationship than them. From now on, I will show gratitude for their actions, rather than approval.
- I learned that while I love solitude, I will truly feel at peace when I'm part of a community. That can only happen by me making a contribution.
What's exciting is that rather than simply doing dull volunteer work, I can contribute by learning a unique set of skills and using them to provide help to others.
📒 Misc Notes