by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi

🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences

Most people believe you're either a happy type of person or you're not. The reality is, anyone can unlock personal happiness through acting courageously (acting despite being afraid). By behaving courageously and providing a contribution to others, we are rewarded with happiness and confidence.

<aside> 💡 [Courage + A contribution to others] = Happiness + Confidence.

</aside>

🤼 Who Should Read It?

Anyone who feels they aren’t truly happy each day.

☘️ How the Book Changed Me (2020)

• It made it crystal clear that my lack of happiness (despite having ironed out the majority of my insecurities) stemmed from the fact I'd been directing my skills and energy at building a future for myself, rather than towards service for the community. Without that, I was unable to feel deep down that I was earning my place in society.
• The book showed me that my emotions are not uncontrollable feelings, but instead tools for manipulation that I can use with discernment. Anger is for getting my agenda heard, and sadness is a tool for encouraging others to support me. By understanding the power of these emotions, I can avoid subconsciously manipulating people.
• It made me aware that despite being comfortable in my own skin, I was still altering my decisions to make sure I was liked by my family, rather than acting purely as I believed best. By acting to impress others, I was making my self-worth dependent on factors outside of my control. This is a recipe for misery.
• It taught me the origins of the adage, You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. I now understand that you can't interfere with another person's life tasks (their journey to happiness and contribution), and the best you can do is let them know your support is there when they need it.
• It showed me I was wrong to praise others. By doing so, it conveyed that I was higher in a hierarchical relationship than them. From now on, I will show gratitude for their actions, rather than approval.
• I learned that while I love solitude, I will truly feel at peace when I'm part of a community. That can only happen by making a contribution. What's exciting is that this doesn’t have to be dull volunteer work. It can instead be leveraging my unique set of skills to provide help to others, and being paid for it.

📒 Misc Notes