Have you ever compared yourself with someone else? Do you think you do this often? If yes - please read on

Before I begin, I have to say comparison with others is a thing I am very guilty of. I have been constantly trying to get over it and it is a work in progress. Just want to put it up front, so everyone who compares with me, knows that there’s no end to it.

Before anything else, the most important thing to know about comparison is that, EVERYONE is prone to it. Everyone compares themselves with someone or the other, everyone feels insecure about some thing, whether it is looks, career, relationships or any other material / non material thing. There are so many things that people can own or be, that it is tough to match all of them. Add on to it, the way we compare doesn’t really help us be rational, so let’s get to it.

While it is normal to compare, it can become a problem and it is important to identify when you reach extremes. Over comparison can stop you from doing things you'd otherwise have done or it starts giving you way too many negative vibes. This is a sign that it needs to be handled. Let’s try to follow the steps below to overcome comparison.

Before starting, keep a place where you can write down your thoughts and reflect on them to improve.

First, think of the last time you compared yourself with someone. Generally when we compare, what we do is - we pick a quality & compare ourselves with someone who is the best in that quality. E.g. comparing your hair with the ones you see on social media or comparing class topper's marks with yours. We start with this and then get into a self deprecating cycle of thought and come to the realisation that we are just not good!

BUTTTTT while we are thinking all this, we leave out all the things others are bad at and we're good at.

We don’t even choose one person to compare, but end up comparing with multiple different people. Which makes us miss thing which others are not good at. So when you compare with someone, try to compare more than 1 quality. You might have a better social life than them. (And maybe they're comparing that with you)

The above will help you normalise and not put people on pedestal, sometimes comparing with someone and feeling inferior can bring feelings of hatred or lower confidence in us.

So next time, whenever you're comparing ensure that you separate the 'quality' from the person. Compare in qualities, it will help in taking the next steps.

Step 1: Write down the qualities you are comparing with different people and on the other side of the page also write down the things that you are good at - which you might never compare with someone.

Try to do the above for 1 week or so - when you’ve written enough qualities - you will realise you compare on some aspects a lot than others. We will try to tackle these specific skills / qualities in the steps below.