Even when we know porn isn’t real, it can still impact the way we think, what we expect, and how we act during sex in real life.

Can watching porn change what we think and how we act in real life?

Yes, there’s a lot of evidence to show it does.

The theory is, the more you watch porn, the more likely you are to use what you see as a template for how you should act during sex. But often, you don't notice your views or expectations changing over time.

Watching lots of porn can even change our worldview over time. Porn has been linked to less progressive gender roles, like the idea that men 'should' be one way, and women 'should' be another way. Some types of porn use have also been linked to increased sexual violence.

Porn can have both positive and negative effects

<aside> ❓ Reflection:

What are some other potential effects of watching porn?

</aside>

So… are you saying I shouldn’t watch porn?

Nope. You do you!

What we’re saying, is that there are a bunch of things in porn that can be pretty toxic, so it’s good to balance it out with a more positive understanding of sex and relationships.

What’s important is to understand your own values and needs, so you can choose how you live your life rather than unconsciously taking on attitudes from what you’ve seen online.

So what does ‘better’, more ethical sex look like?

We’ve talked a lot about the way that porn and other forms of media and culture reinforce some unrealistic or harmful ideas about sex.

But what does sex look when it’s fair and ethical?

<aside> 📗 Ethical sex is

• Consenting and respectful
• Based on good communication
• Unique to everyone
• Aims for mutual pleasure
• Is practised in a safe and healthy way </aside>

It can be tricky to unlearn old views — but it’s definitely doable.

And as a bonus, when you evolve your view of what sex can be, this can lead to a sex life that’s healthier and more fulfilling for you.